C: Conflict
沖突
It’s a source of pain on any team, and even any relationship.
往往是團隊，甚至關(guān)系中痛苦的來源。
But what if the conflict was not good or bad?
但是如果沖突沒有好壞之分呢？
S: What if the conflict was an inner resource for creativity, vision and transformation?
如果沖突是一種能夠轉(zhuǎn)化為創(chuàng)造力、愿景和蛻變的內(nèi)在資源呢？
請點擊上圖，進入《關(guān)系：界限、健康、在沖突中成長》
C: Susan and I have been over 15 years working with hundreds of business leaders and their teams.
我和蘇珊一起共同工作了15年，與成千上百的商業(yè)領(lǐng)袖和他們的團隊合作過。
Our clients actually call us Team Doctors.
我們的客戶叫我們“團隊醫(yī)生”。
Because we focus on the health of the team in order to get smart business results.
因為我們專注于團隊的健康發(fā)展，進而取得卓越的商業(yè)成果。
S: There’s one that referred to us as the dentist.
曾經(jīng)有一個客戶把我們稱作“牙醫(yī)”。
C: That’s true.
確有其事
S: I think she just takes the conflict not us.
我認為她說的是沖突，不是我們。
C: What’s so. She keeps bringing this back.
的確如此，她經(jīng)常提起這件事。
C: Have you ever been on the team where two people won’t deal with each other so you had to manage around them?
你是否曾經(jīng)在這樣的團隊里工作？兩個人不愿意彼此合作，所以你必須一直在他們身旁進行協(xié)調(diào)。
S: Have you worked with someone you just wanted to be able to have a good debate and they kept taking it so personally.
你是否曾經(jīng)跟這樣的人一起共事？你只是想和對方好好地討論一件事情，他們卻總是認為你在針對他們個人。
C: Or have you ever worked with somebody who had always got bad and can we just get along?
還是你曾經(jīng)和這樣的人一起工作？你們總是處不來，為什么就不能好好相處呢？
In these situations, you might think conflict is the problem.
在這種情形下，你可能會覺得沖突是一個問題。
Conflict isn’t the problem.
沖突不是問題。
It’s the choice to defuse it rather than use it.
如果我們選擇息事寧人而不是善加運用，
That’s the problem.
那才是問題。
S: So today, we’re going to introduce you two magic ingredients
所以今天，我會向大家介紹兩種神奇的魔法材料，
that if you use them in conflict situation, it will turn conflict into creativity in an instance.
如果你能在沖突的環(huán)境中運用它們，能瞬間把沖突轉(zhuǎn)化為創(chuàng)造力。
So, just a little bit more about us.
現(xiàn)在，我再來稍微介紹一下我們。
Well, we’re a team.
我們是一個團隊。
We have been business partners and life partners for over 15 years.
我們作為工作搭檔和生活伴侶在一起已經(jīng)超過15年。
That’s just to say we’ve got into a lot of conflicts.
這就意味著我們碰到過許許多多地沖突。
C: Oh, yeath.
是的
S: And we do conflict very differently.
我們對待沖突的方式完全不同。
We approach it differently.
我們用不同的方式處理沖突。
And we have different styles.
我們有不同的風格。
And……
然后……
C: We can all agree.
絕對同意
S: What we can’t agree on is I forgot my line.
我們無法達成一致的是我忘記臺詞了。
What we can’t agree on is……
我們無法達成一致的是……
C: Conflict
沖突
S: and forgetting your lines is a natural and healthy part in the relationship.
和忘記臺詞是關(guān)系中很自然和健康的部分。
C: Yes, it’s a natural and healthy part but that doesn’t mean I like it.
是的，它是非常自然和健康的，但并不代表我會喜歡它。
Conflict terrifies many people.
沖突會嚇到很多人。
And I’ve been one of those people.
我曾經(jīng)是其中一個。
I grew up with an armcarno father.
我有一個非常嚴厲的父親。
As a little person, my Dad was big, loud and scary.
我還是一個小孩子的時候，父親是一個高大、大嗓門而且有點嚇人的人。
And the only thing predictable about him was he’s gonna get upset.
關(guān)于他唯一能夠預(yù)測的事情就是他會突然發(fā)脾氣。
So every night at dinner, it was like running the gun, and hoping him wouldn’t explode up.
所以每天晚上吃飯的時候，我們都好像在把玩手槍，期待他不會突然爆發(fā)。
One night, when we’re staying in Georgia, we lived in an old store house with a big kitchen, white kitchen, red curtains over the sake.
有一天晚上，我們住在喬治亞州的一個老舊的庫房里，那里有一個白色的廚房，很大，還掛著紅色的窗簾。
We’re all sitting in front of the table
我們都坐在桌子前面，
My dad was across to me.
父親就坐在我對面。
They were making fun of one of my teachers.
他們在開我一個老師的玩笑。
I was thirteen at that time.
我那時13歲。
I’ve just gone to that place that I’ve had enough.
我突然到了一個點，覺得自己受夠了。
So I stirred up
我被激怒，
And I said,
并喊道，
shut up,
閉嘴
shut up,
閉嘴
shut up!
閉嘴
A little louder than that although,
事實上聲音要比現(xiàn)在大一些，
I don’t want to blow you guys with the Microphone，
我不想用麥克風震破你們的耳朵。
In a ??? second, my Dad was around the table,
父親很快從桌子對面走過來，
His hand was on my shirt,
他一把抓起我的襯衫，
And I felt his fist on my face,
用拳頭打在我的臉上。
It was a terrifying moment,
那是一個極其恐怖的時刻，
I froze.
我僵住了。
He kept punching.
他不停地揮舞拳頭。
My sister finally pulled him off.
我的姐姐最終把他拉開。
And I fell to the floor.
我摔在地板上，
In a puddle of my own pee,
癱倒在自己的一灘尿里。
That was a life-changing traumatic event for me
對我來說，那是一個改變一生的創(chuàng)傷性事件
I decided then and there
就在那個時刻，我意識到
Wow, it is not safe, and it is too dangerous,
天啊，這一點都不安全，太危險了，
I’m not gonna be vulnerable and say how I really feel.
我不會再呈現(xiàn)自己的脆弱，說出我的真實感受，
or show my emotions or my anger.
或是呈現(xiàn)情緒或憤怒，
No way, my body made a decision.
不可能，我的身體做了一個決定。
Anytime when there is disagreement, it flooded with fear.
每次當出現(xiàn)不同意見時，我都能感覺到那種恐懼。
I started actually seek safety by tracking and managing my external environment, all the people around me.
我開始通過觀察和控制周圍的環(huán)境和所有的人來尋求安全感。
So if there’s any tension in the environment,
所以當我嗅到空氣中有緊張的氣息時，
I would ask question,
我會開始問問題，
or change the subject，
或是轉(zhuǎn)換話題，
or rephrase somebody’s inflammatory comments so the other person can hear better.
或是重新組織語言，讓那些尖銳不舒服的評論聽起來更容易接受。
I made sure to nod, smile and make eye contact.
我總是在點頭，微笑和人保持眼神連接。
But I took a step further.
但是我又進了一步，
Cause I wanted to make sure those power people in my life that they were happy.
因為我想確保身邊的權(quán)威開心，
So I decided I want to focus on what they wanted me to become,
所以我決定把焦點放在他們期待我怎么做上面，
And I’ll do that.
然后我會照做。
So I wasn’t a C or D student, I went getting all As.
我絕對不會是那種C或D等的學生，我要拿所有的A。
I was an athlete, I went all way to focus on Olympics.
我是運動員，一直聚焦在角逐奧運會上面。
I was a Boeing flight test engineer, the most martural part of Boeing.
我是波音公司的測試工程師，波音公司最重要的一個部分。
This is not an engineer.
可是我不僅僅是一個工程師。
I wound up at a top 5 consulting firm.
我到一家排名前五的咨詢公司做咨詢工作。
Ironically, my expertise at that consulting firm, facilitating tough conversations.
諷刺的是，我在那家咨詢公司的專職工作是協(xié)調(diào)那些挑戰(zhàn)的溝通對話。
No surprise, I spent ten thousands of hours running around my dinning room table defusing tension.
所以不奇怪的是，我花了成千上萬個小時在餐桌旁平息沖突，緩和氣氛。
I become a professional conflict avoider,
我變成了一個非常專業(yè)的和事佬，
Facilitating conversations but never really showing up in them.
協(xié)調(diào)對話，化解沖突，但是從來不會呈現(xiàn)真實的自己。
I looked good on the outside.
我看起來外表光鮮，
I was terrified on the inside.
內(nèi)心卻惶恐不安。
I felt like a froken fraud.
我覺得自己像一個騙子。
Then I met Susan Clark.
后來我遇到了蘇珊●克拉克
I saw her work with a group in conflict,
我看到她處理沖突中的團體，
but she did completely different than I did
但是她的工作方法和我完全不同
I mean she had opinion,
她有自己的主見，
she was passionate
充滿熱情，
I was like, “oh my god.”
我非常吃驚，“天?。 ?/span>
I wanted to do that.
我也想那樣做！
I’ll let her tell you about her.
我會讓她來自己介紹自己。
S: For me, surfacing conflict saved my life.
對我來說，讓沖突浮出水面救了我一命。
When I was twenty-three
我23歲的時候，
I had my dreamed joy.
有一份夢想中的工作
I was teaching
我那時在教書
Life was good
生活過得不錯
And then I got sick
后來我生病了
I started to lose weight
我的體重開始下降
I couldn’t keep any food down
我開始吃不下東西
I had no energy
變得很虛弱
I ended up in hospital
后來不得不去醫(yī)院
And the doctor kept asking me over and over about my past
醫(yī)生不斷地追問我過去的事情
They kept wanting to know about my past
他們想知道我過去發(fā)生了什么
I kept saying I had a healthy, happy childhood.
我不斷地告訴他們我擁有一個健康和快樂的童年。
Well, apparently, there was a difference between what I was saying on the outside and what they were saying on the inside.
很顯然，我說出來的和他們看到的并不一樣。
They were seeing a lot of evidence of scarring and sexual trauma
他們看到了很多的傷疤和性創(chuàng)傷證據(jù)
Basically what they said to me is you need to get some answers
基本上，他們會建議我說，你需要去尋找答案
You need to go and ask your family some questions
你需要去問問你的家人發(fā)生了什么
Or maybe go to see a psychiatrist
或是去看精神科醫(yī)生
Well, I did
于是，我照做了
And it was like opening Pandora's Box
那個過程像是打開了潘多拉的盒子
All a sudden, my happy, healthy childhood became a nightmare.
突然之間，我那個健康快樂的童年變成了一場噩夢
I started to remember these horrible, violent acts
我開始記起那些恐怖的暴力行為
Mostly at the hands of a charismatic camp director who know one
施暴者是一個當?shù)刂耸?/span>
Including my family want to wrap???? that image.
所有的人，包括我的家人都想拼命的掩蓋這件事情，保全那個人的形象。
Well, my life depended on it
但是我要活下來
So I kept going
所以我要繼續(xù)往下探索
I went back to my doctors
我回到了醫(yī)生那里
They now have resolved the conflict from the past
現(xiàn)在他們解決了過往的沖突
So they were able to diagnose me in the present
就可以對我進行當下的診斷了
They diagnose me with stage 4 ????
他們確診的結(jié)果是我患了4期肺癌
You might be thinking that sucks.
也許你會覺得這樣的結(jié)果太糟糕了
Actually, believe it or not, it that moment, it was sort of relief.
事實上，不管你是否相信，在那個時刻，我反而有一種放松的感覺。
Suddenly, I had something I had to focus on.
突然之間，我可以專注地面對一些事情。
The treatments were distracting me from these crazy memories and the conflicts in my family
治療讓我從那些瘋狂的記憶和家庭矛盾中解脫出來
And that was actually good.
這對我來說還不錯
Until the treatment stopped working
直到有一天治療失敗了
I can still remember the day well
我還清楚地記得那一天
When I sat across from my doctor
我跟醫(yī)生面對面坐著
She said to me，“We don’t have any more options”
她對我說，“我們已經(jīng)沒有其他可用的方案了”
“You have about 6 months to live”
“你大概還可以活6個月”
Suddenly, I found myself with this dying body,
突然之間，我發(fā)現(xiàn)自己只剩下這個快要死去的身體，
and these crazy ass memories that no one was really validating or acknowledging,
和那些無法證實，無人認可的瘋狂而痛苦的回憶.
And I realized I was at a critical choice moment,
我意識到我到了一個至關(guān)重要的抉擇點，
I could quit, which actually really frankly seems like best at best at that moment
我可以退出，而且在那個時候這看起來是最好的選擇
I could keep fighting with my family, with my doctors, with my old memories.
我可以繼續(xù)戰(zhàn)斗，對抗我的家人，對抗醫(yī)生，對抗那些記憶
Or I can get curious.
或者是，我可以帶著一顆好奇心前行
Well, that led me to the Haven.
最終，它帶我來到了海文學院
I ran into a program that called“Come Alive”
我參加了一個叫做“潛力蘇醒”的課程。
And it was there that I discovered the amazing energy source,
就是在那里，我發(fā)現(xiàn)了一個神奇的能量源泉
the aliveness that really comes from really surfacing,
我的生命活力開始浮現(xiàn)出來
dealing with and using conflict.
面對并且巧妙地運用沖突
I won’t kid you
我不是在開玩笑
It was help
它幫了我
But, that experience of surfacing the conflict changed my life.
但是，把沖突帶出水面的經(jīng)驗改變了我的生活，
And saved my life.
拯救了我的生命。
C: So you just heard our very personal stories
你們剛剛聽到的是我們非常個人化的故事
which we don’t tell all the time
我們并不會經(jīng)常談及這些經(jīng)歷
And I want you to think about your story
我想邀請你們想想自己的故事
What you learned from conflict growing up
你在成長過程里從沖突中學到了什么
Now think of a team you’re on now or a significant relationship
想想你現(xiàn)在所在的團隊，或是一段重要的關(guān)系，
How do you deal with conflict today？
你是如何處理沖突的？
Conflict wasn’t good or bad
沖突沒有好壞
But I’m not kidding you
但是，我不是在開玩笑
You’re not crazy
你也沒瘋
It’s hard and uncomfortable
它的確很困難，而且讓人感到不舒服
That because our nerve system gets fired
那是因為我們的神經(jīng)系統(tǒng)被觸發(fā)
And we go into a fight, flight, or freeze
進入到一種戰(zhàn)斗、逃跑或僵住的模式中
We all have our personal triggers
我們每個人都有自己的引爆點
Mine is anybody’s getting upset in the environment
我的是當周圍的人開始生氣的時候，
And I get really anxious
我開始變得異常焦慮
My body floods with fear and I want to run
我的身體里充滿了恐懼，我只想逃走
Well, mine is if I’m around people who are really nice and polite
如果我身邊的人非常體貼、有禮貌，
And not saying stuff,
而且不會說什么難聽的，
I actually start to think they are up to something dangerous.
我反而會想他們是不是不懷好意。
I go to fight
我開始進入戰(zhàn)斗模式
I got into a little trouble.
我有點小麻煩了
The question I had asked and you may want to ask is
所以我剛剛問的問題，也許也是你要問的問題，
Do I want to let me nerve system control me and limit me
我會允許我的神經(jīng)系統(tǒng)控制我，限制我嗎？
S：You probably are wondering why are we talking about all those personal stuffs.
你也許會很疑惑，為什么我們要談這些非常個人化的事情?
How do these fit in with business teams?
它們與商業(yè)團隊又有什么關(guān)系？
Well, business is personal
商業(yè)都是由人組成的，
And we still have business to do
我們也有自己的生意要做
So cute Lego Movie
就像那部可愛的樂高大電影
C: Because this is what people think a team gonna be like.
因為人們都認為團隊應(yīng)該是這樣的
Everything is awesome
一切都棒極了
Everything is cool when you’re part of a team
當你是團隊一員時，一切都酷斃了
Everything is awesome
一切都棒極了
C: Thank you! Thank you!
謝謝！謝謝！
That’s not what happens really
那可不是真實的情況
No, what’s really happen on a team is you do start out with an awesome vision.
不是這樣，團隊中的真實情況是開始的時候你擁有很棒的愿景
Great!
好極了！
So you get some smart people.
那些聰明有才干的人來到你身邊
And they are passionate about your course.
他們對于你的目標和方向充滿熱情
All a sudden, these smart people, start to have very different opinions
突然之間，這些聰明的成員之間開始產(chǎn)生完全不同的意見
And then those different opinions come with strong emotions
隨后這些不同的意見帶來強烈的情緒
Cos they’ve got a lot of passion
他們擁有如此之多的激情
And you’re stuck in I’m right and you’re wrong
卻執(zhí)著于我對你錯的觀念之中
We are smashed at the conflict
陷入沖突無法自拔
Now we don’t like conflict
可是我們不喜歡沖突
So most people choose to defuse it
所以大部分人會選擇息事寧人
And it could be, if you have a style like me,
所以可能的結(jié)果是，如果你跟我是一樣的風格，
Okay, we’ll do it your way.
好吧，好吧，那就聽你的吧。
A peace-keeper style.
這是和事佬的風格
Or it could be I’m gonna take charge
也有可能是這樣的，我來控制局面
I’m gonna do it my way
我會堅持我的方式
You guys are gonna thank me when I get it done.
等我把事情搞定了，你們等著說謝謝吧！
It could be, hey, I’m at here until you guys get done of those messy stuffs then I’ll come back and do some real work.
也可能是，嘿，我會在這里等你們收拾完爛攤子，再開始干點“正事”！
S: So when teams do this, they stop
所以當團隊發(fā)生這種情況的時候，就會停滯不前。
People get disengaged.
大家開始失去積極性
Worse, they start to undermine each other
更糟糕的是，人們開始互相搞破壞
The team like this don’t get great result ????
這樣的團隊絕對無法取得良好的成效
This is disengagement.
這就是消極倦怠
People are not using conflict
人們沒有積極地運用沖突
They are avoiding it or defusing it.
而是試圖逃避沖突或是息事寧人
C: Here’s some data from Gallup
這是一組來自蓋洛普的調(diào)查數(shù)據(jù)
They are talking about different engagement levels
它說的是不同的參與程度
S: So look at me when you see this.
大家看我這里，當你看到這個數(shù)字時，
One third of the company is usually disengaged.
公司里往往只有三分之一的人是積極參與的。
Let’s just talked about that 70.5%
讓我們來看看其他的70.5%
Because they are actively disengaged
因為他們主動選擇不參與的。
That’s sort of unpleasant or something bad going on there.
它看起來一點都不令人愉快，這背后應(yīng)該有一些糟糕的事情在發(fā)生。
Those people, something goes on for them,
這些人都碰到了某些狀況
They are very dissatisfied with where they are
他們對自己的處境都非常地不滿意
C: We do think this is disengagement because people are not dealing with surfacing conflict.
我們認為這是一種消極倦怠的狀態(tài)，因為大家沒有有效處理出現(xiàn)的沖突。
So we want to talk with you about two magic ingredients.
我們想向大家介紹兩種的“魔法原料“
that actually transfers conflicts into activities in an instant
它們能夠瞬間把沖突轉(zhuǎn)化為創(chuàng)造力
They are vulnerability and curiosity
它們是”脆弱”和”好奇心”
So the first magic ingredient is Vulnerability.
第一種魔法原料是“脆弱“
I don’t know anybody who actually likes the concept of Vulnerability except maybe Branny Brown
我不知道除了布蘭妮.布朗之外，是不是有人真的會喜歡脆弱的概念
But in business, you’ve got to be kidding
而這在商業(yè)之中簡直是在開玩笑
Business is a room of invincibility
商場是沒有硝煙的戰(zhàn)場
But we’re talking about on a team, where relationship matters and vulnerability is a key.
但是我們討論的是團隊，團隊中關(guān)系是重要的，而脆弱則是解決之道。
Vulnerability is not about being weak
脆弱并不意味著軟弱
Vulnerability is the willingness to expose oneself to danger
脆弱是一種愿意敞開面對危險的意愿
To take a risk and be honest about what’s really happening
敢于冒險，對真實的發(fā)生保持誠實
To say what you think, feel and want
勇敢地說出你想到的，感受到的和想要的
I’ve got to tell you, I do not like this concept at all
我想要誠實地告訴你，我自己一點都不喜歡這個概念
I still say, God, why do I have to be vulnerable?
我還是會說，天啊，我為什么非要呈現(xiàn)脆弱？
S: Should I tell them you were actually arguing about it an hour ago?
我應(yīng)不應(yīng)該告訴大家你一個小時之前還在跟我爭辯這個問題？
She wanted me to take this part.
她想要讓我刪掉這部分
But the benefit is, when I have the courage to actually stand up and say what I really think, feel and want, even share my anger
但是好處是，當我真的有勇氣站起來說出我的所想，所感和所求，有時甚至是分享憤怒，
Which wasn’t really going well earlier in my life,
雖然我生命早期的經(jīng)驗很糟糕，
I actually stop managing you guys,
我開始停止控制你們，
I land inside my own shoes and I connect from there,
我回到自己的中心，并從那里開始連接，
And I re-claim more of me, my voice, my emotion and creative expression
我重新認領(lǐng)自己，包括我的聲音、我的情緒，并用一種有創(chuàng)造力的方式進行表達。
I’m actually pretty good in conflict these days.
現(xiàn)在，我對沖突越來越能夠坦然面對了。
S： I’m going to ??? for that
我能夠證明這一點
Let’s talk about the second ingredient - curiosity.
讓我們來談?wù)劦诙€原料——好奇心
So what curiosity doesn’t mean? It’s letting go of my judgments.
那么好奇心意味不能做什么呢？要放下評判
I often hear people say to me, I don’t want to be judgmental.
我經(jīng)常聽到人們說，我不想妄下結(jié)論
Really?
這是真的嗎？
Your judgments, your ability to decern, to imagine, that’s one of your greatest gifts.
你的評判、你的辨識力和想象力是你最大的禮物。
You want smart and opinionated people on your team
你希望你團隊里的人都聰明而有主見，
You hire them for that
這是你雇傭他們的原因
The problem isn’t our judgments.
問題不是我們的評判，
The problem is that we get stuck to them.
而是我們被評判卡住了
We got married to and attached to them
我們過于執(zhí)著和堅持自己的評判
We think we’re right
我們認為自己是對的
I do this all the time
我一直以來都是這么做的
I know this one
我對這個再熟悉不過了
C：She does
插話：她的確是這樣的
And this is very sticky
事情變得很棘手
What curiosity does mean is the willingness to own my judgments
好奇心的真正含義是承認我是有評判的
And get interested and curious about the different perspective.
然后再對不同的觀點抱持一種感興趣和好奇的態(tài)度
To be willing to consider there’s more than one right way, more than one truth, more than one possibility.
愿意考慮也許會有不同的方案，不同的真相和不同的可能性
And get over my need to be right.
超越我必須正確的需求
Now for me, that meant I had to get curious about cancer
回到我身上，這就意味著我必須要對癌癥保持好奇心
I had to consider the cancer wasn’t just an enemy
我必須考慮到癌癥并不僅僅是一個敵人
There was something for me to learn from it.
一定有些功課是我需要從癌癥中學習的
I had to get curious about those memories and couldn’t just bury them down
我要對那些曾經(jīng)的回憶保持好奇，而不是干脆把它們埋掉。
And I even had to get curious about the difference between my storyline about the past and my family’s
我甚至還要對家人保持好奇心，因為對于過去，我們有不同的故事版本
C: So when you combine curiosity and vulnerability in the middle of the conflict
所以當你能夠在沖突中運用好奇心和脆弱這兩種原料時，
That’s when you start to use the energy of conflict rather than defuse it.
你就開始運用沖突的能量，而不是簡單地息事寧人
S: So let’s give you a business case scenario of this
我們會給你一個關(guān)于這種情況的商業(yè)案例
We’re working with an IT company and they’re pretty successful
我們在為一家IT公司做咨詢，那是一家相當成功的公司。
They are successful enough and they were able to buy, get….
他們?nèi)绱顺晒?，所以能夠購買，得到……
C: acquire
收購
S: Acquire, that’s the word I’m looking for
收購，是的，我正想說這個詞
Acquire a smaller company
收購了一家小型公司
And with that acquisition, Jane, the present of the smaller company, got planted on the executive team
做為收購內(nèi)容之一，這家小公司的總經(jīng)理，簡，被安插進管理團隊。
Now in three months of this new deal, the CEO Frank of the IT company called us,
收購三個月之后，IT公司的CEO弗蘭克打電話給我們。
I’m pretty sure that he just wanted us to help him to fire Jane.
我確信他只是希望我們協(xié)助他開掉簡。
We came in.
于是我們就進入他們的團隊
We started to work with them over two day period
開始進行一次為期兩天的工作
They got to the part where they were talking about their strategy
然后他們開始談起他們的市場戰(zhàn)略
Jane was vehemently opposed to what the team was proposing
簡強烈地反對團隊的提議
Three of the guys from the exact team got up worse,
反方團隊中的三名成員憤怒地站起來
Pointing at her
用手指著她
Screaming at her
朝她大喊大叫
I actually thought we’re going to have a real medical doctor.
我當時真的以為我們可能需要一個急救醫(yī)生
I was a little concerned.
我有點擔心。
Then we said time’s up
然后我們說，時間到！
Do you remember vulnerability and curiosity?
你們還記得脆弱和好奇心嗎？
One of the guys,
其中的一個人
One of the really angry guys said,
剛剛非常憤怒的男人中的一個，說，
In an angry voice, but he started there,
語氣中帶著憤怒，但他還是開始做了嘗試，
Look, Okay, I’m gonna be vulnerable,
好吧，聽著，我要呈現(xiàn)我的脆弱，
I’m gonna tell you,
我要告訴你
I’ve been angry and frustrated with you since you join this team.
自從你加入這個團隊的那一刻起，我就對你感到憤怒和失望
And I really haven’t listened to anything you’ve said
其實你說的話我一句都沒聽進去
Then he said, and , because of curiosity, I actually wanted to try to
然后他說，出于好奇，我的確想要試試，
He walked over and sat next to Jane.
于是他走過去，坐到簡旁邊
Now Jane took a breath,
簡做了一次深呼吸，
And said, ”this has been really hard”
說道，“這的確非常困難，”
But then she launched her idea
但是之后她開始分享自己的想法
You could see light bulbs go off
于是警報訊號消除了
Joe and the rest of the team knew she had good ideas
團隊中的其他成員都知道她有好點子
They stepped back and redesign their entire strategy to include Jane’s idea.
他們不再咄咄逼人，而是重新設(shè)計了整個戰(zhàn)略規(guī)劃，并接納了簡的想法。
That new strategy took them incredible result of No. 3 spot in the industry.
新的戰(zhàn)略規(guī)劃帶給他們意想不到的收獲，他們在行業(yè)中穩(wěn)居三甲。
C: So we found it all the time in team highly capable people can’t work together.
我們經(jīng)常在團隊中發(fā)現(xiàn)這種情況，有能力的人卻無法好好合作。
It is our job to help bring them together
我們的工作就是把他們整合到一起，
And recognize that my way and your way, it’s a whole new way.
并了解到我的方法，加上你的方法，會是一種全新的方法。
Teams and relationships that do this, that utilize vulnerability and curiosity come up with innovative solutions not just once but repeatedly.
那些運用了脆弱和好奇心的團隊和關(guān)系都會一次又一次地產(chǎn)生卓越的創(chuàng)新成效
They bounce back from and set back from failure
他們能夠迅速地從失敗中恢復活力，
People are involved, engaged and alive.
大家都積極參與并充滿活力。
So I want to take you back to when I had just 6 months to live
現(xiàn)在我要把大家?guī)Щ貏倓偟脑掝}，我只剩下6個月可以活
To the last morning of that come alive.
回到那個《潛力蘇醒》的最后一個早晨
It was a transformative moment for me
對我來說那是一個蛻變性的時刻
The leader of the workshop wanted to do a healing circle for me
工作坊的導師想要為我做一個療愈圈，
……
And they invited their friend Father Jack Romankemists prays
Now when he walked in the room in his ropes all has bruklers
Brucler
There were some people in that room that had pretty serious religious issues with organized religion.
That loving, kind healing circle
本來應(yīng)該充滿愛和善意的療愈圈
chaos, mayhem
變成了一團混亂
It was not pretty.
一點都不美好
Until Father Jack said something,
直到杰克神父開始說了一些話，
He got vulnerable,
他開始呈現(xiàn)脆弱，
he said, “you know, I realize I’m representing the church”
他說：“你知道，我意識到我代表著整個教堂”
“And I had made some mistakes.”
“而我犯過一些錯?！?/span>
“My church had made some mistakes”
“我的教堂了犯過一些錯誤”
And he got curious.
然后他開始變得好奇。
He said, “I’m interested in hearing from you.”
他說：“我很感興趣聽你們說。“
Suddenly, it got very real.
突然之間，一切變得如此真實。
Very quickly, it was a changing moment,
很快地，它變成了一個轉(zhuǎn)化性的時刻。
Because I’ve never seen conflict got dealt with like that
因為我從來沒有見過沖突可以像這樣處理
Some content he got dealt with, with vulnerability and curiosity
他用呈現(xiàn)脆弱和帶著好奇的方式處理沖突
As a matter of fact, that was the healing
而事實上，這就是療愈
I went back and had surgery to remove tumors
我回到了醫(yī)院，進行移除腫瘤的手術(shù)，
They open me up,
他們打開我的身體，
The tumors were gone
腫瘤消失了
Now I really believe that in that moment, that experience being in a situation
現(xiàn)在我真的會相信就是在那個時刻，那個經(jīng)驗，那種情形中,
where there was that kind of conflict and people deal with it differently saved me.
人們處理沖突的不同方式拯救了我
C: So we’ll leave you with this
這是我們最后要留給大家的信息
Conflict is an energy source for innovation, creativity and transformation.
沖突是革新、創(chuàng)造力和蛻變的能量來源
It’s time we stop looking for safety and magic outside of ourselves
是時候停止追求安全感和向外尋找魔法了，
And recognize the resources we have within and between us to bridge our differences
認識到我們的內(nèi)在和我們之間擁有足夠的資源去溝通彼此的差異
And tap that unlimited renewable resource
并連接那取之不盡，用之不竭的資源，
S: So you’re capable of the amazing things
我們擁有非凡的能力
I know the time is going to be up and I’ll wrap this up quickly
我知道時間到了，我會盡快做個總結(jié)
You’re capable of the amazing things
我們擁有非凡的能力
So the next time you get stuck in conflicts
所以下次當你發(fā)生沖突的時候
Remember, defuse it
記得，平息它
I mean…..
我的意思是……
C: Oh my god, she blows the line.
天啊，她又說出錯話了。
S:Okay, we’re going to fight about this later.
好吧，我們等一下再吵！
Use it, don’t defuse it!
運用它，而不是息事寧人！
Because you too can change the world
因為你也能夠改變世界
One team, one relationship, one conflict at a time
一次一個團隊，一次一個關(guān)系，一次一個沖突！
Okay, thank you!
好的，謝謝！
【更多分享】請點擊名稱，直接進入：
對你以及你所追求的生命，
致上我們最深的祝福！
